Thrusday Story ...

today ...

masih berkelut dengan kegedegan yang selalu meraja lela !

argh ....

pagi-pagi kuliah ...

alamak ... dosennya cuman ngebaca slide ...

mana materi pemuliaan itu udah angka semuanya, pliss ...

sesuatu banget yah kalo cuman dibaca doang bu dos ...

gue sama sekali ngga nangkep ...

dosennya bener-bener ngajak ribut ...

anjiir ....

itu satu slide cuman dibaca terus pindah-pindah ...

gue mau nyateeettt dikira tangan gue sepuluh apa yak ..

apa-apaan ...

ini deh yang namanya penggalauan masal ...

jaman sekarang ,,,

apa-apa susah yak ...

mau jadi mahasiswa baek-baek aja susah bray ...

uda ada niatan mau nyatet ... mau mantengin kuliah ...

ehh ....

susah lagi mau jadi mahasisa yang ngga baek-baek ...

eniwei, gue belum pernah nyoba yang satu ini ...

trus ....

lanjut ke kuliah part 2 ...

kewarganegaraan 3 jam #muntah

gue dateng telat tanpa penyesalan ...

keenakan donlod lagu di dekanat sampe kalap ... eee pas masuk kelas dosennya lagi mendongeng ...

dalam hati gue, napa gue ngga lupa kuliah sekalian yak ?

sialannya lagi si endud kiki malah masih molor di kosan ...

apa pula ini ┒(⌣˛⌣)┎

yang lebih biki gue kalap ...

pas akhir-akhir kali ....

dosen gue nyanyi dabb ,,,

ngga tau deh nyanyi apaan ...

yang jelas seisi kelas pada ngakak, ngga tau deh maksut kengakakan misterius ini apaan.

lanjut lagi deh ...

kuliah part 3 ...

perundang-undangan ...

ngga tau kenapa gue sering banget cabut pas kuliah ini.

sumpah demi jenggot merlin yak

tadi itu presentasi satu-satu !!!

gilaaa njiirr ...

di kepala gue cuman ada bantal sama guling.

ngantuk banget ...

apa yang mau gue presentasiin yak kira-kira *_____________*

beneran banget dipanggil satu-satu urut absen ...

otomatis gue melek banget ngubek materi.

udah panas dingin ,,,

norak banget deh ...

en den ,

RISDA AMELIA PUTRI NASUTION.

JLEB.

kepala gue mendadak pening ...

gue nyoba buat positif ...

gue bisa ... gue bisa ... gue bisa ...

majulah gue tanpa bekal apapun menuju barat buat ngambil kitap suci. hedeh apa pula ini.

krik krik ... ┒(⌣˛⌣)┎

ngga tau apa yang gue omongin di depan. yang jelas gue udah ngomong walopun ngelantur ...

masih tetep panas dingin ...

sumpah norak tingkat RT.

abis itu ...

rapat persiapan LKMM Pra Dasar ---> ngga ada yang dateng. trus gue juga kek pajangan aja. sumpah krik banget.

rapat HM .... dadakan banget ternyata ada kunjungan dari UNs ... wth ... dan gue jadi penerima tamu. apa pula, kalap tingkat nasional ...

┒(⌣˛⌣)┎

at least ...

demi pikachu sama digimon ...

GUE CAPEK BANGET HARI INI ... mana daritadi gue kebelet boker. ^nangis^

blaming my self ...

What would you do?

when someone you love do not love you and accept you like who you are.

and ... what else should you do when at the same time you feel very loved.

not easy to erase all the memories that are already there ...

I never imagined at all ...

how great the love that you sow :)

felt that I would never mean without you.

I've tried to be the best for you even though all it really makes me like another person.

if it should be, it reinforced my heart ...

I'd love to stay afloat, but this feels a sense of disappointment skin me. This feeling stab in my heart. I'm not a perfect woman like her or them. I'm just a girl messed with all the shortcomings that were scattered everywhere. I'm an ordinary girl who can only hope ... someday you'll accept me as it is me ...

how my heart did not collapse ...

how my heart was broken ...

when tears are dripping wet disappointed me like salt water which washed the gaping wound.

sore ...

you said, "I love you, I need you, I want to be with you ..."

it seems the world is falling ahead to me.

maybe this is all my fault ...

blame myself too weak ... blame me that it is difficult to change. because it was all MY FAULT.

whether, if I can not keep all of your wishes it means I do not love you? does that mean I do not want to be with you ...

if only you knew ...

how much I always wanted in your arms ...

how much I wanted to spend every minute of my life with you, but this is not a case of love, this is reality. I do not want to love someone over the wound that burns body and soul ...

although I never know, what's become of me if you were not there ...

gue juga ngga tau kenapa gue nulis ini ...

gue cuman manusia biasa yang juga terkadang ngga pengen melulu bokis sama diri gue sendiri ?

apa salah ?

gue pengen jadi diri gue seutuhnya ...

seperti dulu ...

kedengarannya gue brontak abis ya ...

wajar lah gue kan juga manusia biasa kali ...

mana bisa di stir selalu ...

gue tau kok, semua itu sebenernya demi kebaikan gue.

tapi apa kalo menurut orang itu yang terbaik buat gue, udah pasti terbaik menurut gue ?

jawab dong ! napa pada diem. parah.

gue tau mana yang baik buat diri gue.

percuma gue ngejalanin sesuatu yang katanya baik buat gue tapi disitu gue ngga ngerasa nyaman sama sekali.

persetan banget sama backsong #np geisha - remuk jantungku. ngapa playlistnya ngikut bikin kalap.

iyah iyah ...

gue tau kok mo ...

nafasmu, jantungmu ...

hadeh ...

apa emang salah gue ya ? tapi napa jadi gue lagi sih yang salah .... ngga ada yah writer jadi tersangka ^maksa.

semoga aja ada jalan terbaik <----- apa pula ini ?? gue udah kek korban senetron mampus deh ya.

*tarik bantal, nidurin selimut*

never judge me !

OK. today I'm pissed off. knows what should I say, I liked least was accused of carelessly. yes please, do not be arrogant for what ever you are going through. hey boy spinning time... Do not brag nonsense. if you feel less satisfied and want to move, please start without blaming anyone else ... Do not be a loser who can only shout in the trash! that's all, thank you.


on big hatred.
on big anger,
and I have full right for my anger
no one can judge me ...


fuuiihh ...

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

Picture perfect memories 
Scattered all around the floor 
Reaching for the phone 'cause 
I can't fight it anymore 


And I wonder if I 
Ever cross your mind 
For me it happens all the time 


It's a quarter after one 
I'm all alone 
And I need you now 
Said I wouldn't call 
But I've lost all control 
And I need you now 


And I don't know how 
I can do without 
I just need you now 


Another shot of whiskey 
Can't stop looking at the door 
Wishing you'd come sweeping 
In the way you did before 


And I wonder if I 
Ever cross your mind 
For me it happens all the time 


It's a quarter after one 
I'm a little drunk 
And I need you now 
Said I wouldn't call 
But I've lost all control 
And I need you now 


And I don't know how 
I can do without 
I just need you now 


Whoa, whoa 
Guess I'd rather hurt 
Than feel nothing at all 


It's a quarter after one 
I'm all alone 
And I need you now 
And I said I wouldn't call 
But I'm a little drunk 
And I need you now 


And I don't know how 
I can do without 
I just need you now 
I just need you now 


Oh baby, I need you now


apa ya ? gue suka banget sama lagu ini, ngga ada alesan yang spesifik kenapanya. lagu ini juga pertama kali nyangsang di laptop gue entah gimana dan siapa yang masukin ato donlod.in. yang jelas gue ngga sengaja muter trus langsung klik-gitu deh. hedeh. trus ... ada seseorang yang suka banget nyanyiin lagu ini buat gue #cheeee entah gemana yah. sekedar inget aja sih, ngga maksud apa-apa ... pertama tuh orang nyanyong ni lagu ... sumpah ngos ngos an ngga jelas banget ... tapi lama-lama ... i like it kok ...

dedicated to ... YOU :)

I'd love to fight him.

I'd love stronger from it.

But I can not.

And I would never deny it.

Understand a little, I do not regret it.

Crying for the people dearest.

Until the end of time.

If this can make it a little to understand.

Not me, but love.

But love is not enough to have it.

Love is powerless to break down the bars of our destiny.

When the smile that gives meaning happy.

Should I pull your hand?

When I find you want to go?

Or was I quiet,

Staring at your shadow is lost slowly.

That the torn it will remain so ...

And that will remain intact as well ...

God above all else ...

God sees as real, in fact ...

Sky,

Say to him,

That a sharp knife when it will stick you ...

Of course I'll never ask for this.

If love was a mistake,

So I just let the guilty ...

I was' never had his heart,

His heart belongs to someone else, not me.

And I tried to accept it.

Washed my heart with blood disappointed.

Let your tears wet tonight ...

Let me wallow injury tonight ...

Let the knife stabbed me tonight ...

Let the blade skin me tonight ...

Would be felt all the pain and hurt it ...

Because I love God, and I did not ask him back.

All means nothing to me.

Just walked her body is intact,

Without a shred of love.

Maybe he never hit me.

When my foot stepped out of the room.

Should I forget about it.

But I just smiled.

I could not.

I sat here.

Rounding up to my final point.

I still do not find the figures.

Until blood soaks my pulse no longer.

Until no longer sends nerve impulses.

And when my body reject the incoming oxygen.

I love him.

I keep expecting it.

Keep waiting.

Waiting.

If silence has been beat off in the recesses of my memory.

Give me holy just a little.

To remove it deserves.

To remember that it should be.

Until the end of time

today ... "anarkis"

ngga tau kenapa tadi pas gue ondewe ke tembalang banyak banget kejadian yang buat gue hampir jantungan. gue juga sama sekali ngga ngerti apa salah gue sampe-sampe motor, mobil, barangkali becak juga pada nglakson ngga jelas. hellloooo gue ngga budek ya ! lagian gue juga ngga serakah-serakah amat kalo pake jalan. kontainer tadi sumpah fuck abis ... kebayang ngga sih gimana klaksonnya kontainer ? itu gue lagi lewaatt dibunyiin. kaya mau mental tau ngga ! kalo gue bisa nyekik tu supir kamprett ... andaii saja ... en then ... ada mas-mas yang ngga pake helm tuh, uda serasa palanya kebuat dari baja aja, cuman lecet doang kalo sampe nyium ganasnya aspal. gue ngga ngerti juga ya maksutnya apaan tu mas-mas waktu mau ngedahuluin gue pakek acara ngebawahin standar tengahnya jadi gesek aspal gitu. sumpah bunyinya bikin gendang telinga mau pecah. apa-apaan ? kurang kerjaan ngga ? hedeh ... truss ... malemmnya, heppi banget ada yang nraktir es cream cone Mcd favorit gue. hemh ... abis itu ... masuk ke salah satu outlet sepatu di mall ... ada mbak-mbak yang kaya'a excited banget deh ngebanting-banting sepatu gitu ... iya tau sih mau nyobaiinn mbaakk ... tapi ngga usah lebah gitu deh ... bunyinya kek ngebanting genteng tetangga. mirip gajah sariawan treak-treak. apa pula ini ? langsung kabur gue ... takut ntar kebanting juga ... omg ... hari ini penuh dengan anarkisme ...

my heaven breeze

heaven breeze ... angin surga ... gue ngga tau kenapa gue kasih judul kek gini ke blog gue.. ok ... setelah blog gue yang lama eror ... gue pengen mulai lagi dari o .